Saturday, April 12, 2008

just bake it away...

So here i sit on a saturday night alone yet again. kids asleep, chores to put off, and rather annoyed at a certain individual in my world yet again. so i bake.

realistically tonight i bake with purpose, for the children at church (why yes that glowing spot above my head is a halo lol). i have volunteered because it gives me something to do on a saturday night, i do enjoy baking, and they need a snack.

but it's funny how baking has become or maybe has always been a form of therapy for me. while i am preparing it i am concentrating on what to do next, i have the timer set for various intervals during baking, and can find something else to occupy myself for the 15 minutes or so in between, but i just bake it all away. my friend used to call it my avoidance therapy, and it is if i am focusing on that i do not have to focus on all the emotions screaming in my head, it silences them for a while. mixing and measuring and math (oh my)all take precedence over anything else and i can just be doing, in the moment and have something to show for my efforts almost immediately.

maybe that's why i like it, if i do everything right it will turn out as it should and is all done within an hour or so, unlike life. and if it is ruins you can just remake it with little consequence.
in life you can put so much effort into something only to have it fall apart. you do everything right or at least as right as you know how to and it still turns out wrong.

my philosophy, when life gives you lemons...make a pie.

No comments: