i'm still here rocking in my chair

nope i haven't fallen off the planet, just haven't been inspired to write for a bit, or what i have been writing is not something i'm ready to place out in a public forum.

last night i went to a young adult group where we were taught a listening technique, then practiced within a small group setting.
our to think about and speak on was: what do you need God to be in your life right now, and can you relate that to a childhood memory or toy.
it was really hard at first, and originally i thought of something else, and then there it was it dawned on me the rocking chair.
we had a rocking chair in our living room when i was really young and i remember coming home from nursery school after lunch and snuggling with my mom under a blue blanket my grandma had crocheted. and that feeling of safety and love.
It was then that i realized i think that's what i feel is missing in my life, but i know that far too often i have and still continue to look for it in empty places, like people and things, when i really know that God has to be that for me. But i wonder if until i get it and turn solely to Him for that i cannot have it.
i know my struggle is that i literally have no one to hold me like that, and while God needs to be that for me and He is always here, but it is hard to feel it without being held.
kids are great for hugs but they're more often than not being given rather than received, and i know it is more blessed to give than receive but you can't give water from an empty well.
i guess knowing what i should do and knowing how to do it are 2 totally different things.
maybe if i just snuggle into a rocking chair under a blanket, it'll revive the memory enough to get that feeling back, i just have to kick the dog off first (lol).