STRESS

So when i'm stressed i don't sleep, or not that well anyways.
too much stuff going on ...

year end so have to plan stuff for that with the kids at school.
car shopping because my old one died a painful death over the weekend.
finding a summer job because mine is only for the school year.
car payments
which kind of car to buy
wondering why the car people are so pushy and just really not liking it
being so confused and overwhelmed by it all
relying on someone i would rather not but kind of require their expertise as i possess no car knowledge myself
trying to be grown up but not too stubborn and proud for my own good
needing sleep but fighting it
spending hours on end researching cars and reviews.
eating all my birthday fudge while doing the above mentioned searches
my babies growing up
wanting to move on but not knowing exactly how
doing things the hard way
doing things by myself
doing what i should do as a last resort or afterthought
feeling guilty for not doing what i should have first
pondering the last year in my life
pondering the next year in my life
sleepy so very sleepy.... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

i know i haven't posted in a while, i've had lots going on but haven't really reflected on it. i am working on something for sunday that i think will really hit home and with my birthday just having passed i am in a period of reflection and figuring out some direction.
not sure if anyone actually reads this or not but just in case there will be more coming soon.