reflections on regret

i was asked today if i regretted getting married so young, i said no, but it took a while and a solitary car ride home to really think about it....

i would not have the 2 awesome kids i now have, the combination of genetics that makes them who they are is truly amazing.

i got to fall in love and act on it, not just say it not just feel it but do something about it, commit to it, indulge in it, some people never get the chance. i used to feel like it was unfair to let me have that and then have it gone, but the paradigm shift is a good one. i got to have it, and hope to have it again

i would not be who i am today...i have learned so much about myself; as a person, roots to some of my core issues, and my abilities. i have learned some stuff that works and doesn't work in a relationship and i have realized how strong a person i can be. it is so easy to look and see everything i am doing wrong..but hopefully i can start to focus on those moments where i get it right and strive to make those more frequent.

i still have regrets in my life, i have done stupid things in the heat of the moment that i wish i could go back and erase, who hasn't. the important thing is that i do not keep repeating the same mistakes and that i learn from them and can help others by my experiences.
i want to be able to look back on my life with few regrets and an abundance of wisdom, to know that all i have done, seen, heard, thought, spoken... has not been in vain but as part of a process of perfecting the person i am called to and meant to become.

no regrets, no fear..all love.

anxiety butterflies

anxiety is not necessarily always bad. at least not as i understand it. i am in a nervous, excited but completely lost state of mind. once again i cannot sleep because of it, my mind races at a hundred miles a minute, playing every possible scenario of all the situations that i am pondering. something good could come of it, or not, but there is no guarantee it will even happen?
i won't know for sure until i try but it doesn't stop the butterflies.
i do not understand myself i get all focused and worked up about something that is not even settled and set, and it makes it worse when it doesn't go how i pictured it going the majority of the time.
why does everything have to be so complicated?


Philippians 4:6 NLT

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.

guess i have my answer, but doesn't make it any easier to follow.