i have often found myself wishing my life were different, that things would have turned out differently and wondering "what if..."
yet i know that living in the hypothetical or wishing things away doesn't work.
my life is what it is, some things i cannot change while others i have the choice to change.
my life is what i make it amidst the circumstances i have been forced to deal with, good or bad. i always have a choice, and i think that i often forget that. so often i allow others and what they think and do negate my power of choice.
there will always be consequences in life that i will have to deal with through no direct choice of my own, all choices have a ripple effect whether or not we see it. i have been well aware of this for sometime now which i also feel impedes my ability to make decisions, as i am so worried about the ripples that some decisions are almost crippling.
one thing i know is that life gets overwhelming, but i have to just take it one step at a time; a painting begins with a single stroke and as more are added it becomes more than what it was.
same with life, make a small change and continue from there and you will eventually end up with something beautiful, maybe not exactly as you envisioned it but still a work of art.